


Stasis

by trenchsoda



Category: Half Life, Opposing Forces
Genre: Angst, Unreality I guess?, adrian is going wild in stasis, im tired and feeling angsty n poetic, mild violence, shephard needs enrichment in his enclosure, someone help adrian jfc, this mans sense of time and space is fucked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:54:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28568049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trenchsoda/pseuds/trenchsoda
Summary: The void is complete and utter sensory deprivation. Shephard has no idea how long he's been here.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Stasis

the void was many things. it was also absolutely nothing. it reminded adrian of the night sky, back home. silent, endless, and suffocating. more terryfing than it had ever seemed when he would spent nights stargazing with his brother. he swore he could even see stars twinkling somewhere far, far away from where he stood.

time was different, that was one of the first things he noticed. it was barely traceable, one moment never truly related to the rest. nothing ever happened. sometimes he'd try counting, to do something, anything, to not let the familiar static of this place fill his head. but it toyed with him. mocked him for his efforts. adrian would catch himself counting backwards, or repeating a single number meaninglessly over and over.

how long had he been here? he'd left the vehicle he'd came in some time ago, surprised to find somewhat of a solid floor in the void outside. his eyes tricked him, they still did. or at least he thought so. everday he'd walk and watch, searching for something, anything, only to find he'd made no progress. he was still a few feet from the plane, staring into nothing. he fucking hated it. he hated it so much it made his head hurt and his heart ache but he couldnt cry. jesus christ, he couldn’t even think straight half the time. shephard could barely hold into broad emotions before they floated away, filling his mind with endless fuzz and static once again.

adrian spoke, sometimes. maybe all the time. he mumbled, meaninglessly. that man who'd put him here, where was he now? where was HE? this place couldnt exist. but it had to. he was here. he'd always been here, right? obviously not. he remembered home, he remembered boot camp, he remembered his name, his life. someone in a place of nothingness couldn't have those things. couldn't have an identity. they'd be a nameless, naked creature, stripped of anything human. maybe that’s what the man who put him here was.

human. he was certain he was human. he stared at his hands. his nails. bitten, broken, crusted with blood. they hurt. adrian had fought hard at black mesa, after a good chunk of his team had gone down in the chopper crash. his ribs ached, remembering it. that was real. but so far away. his wounds didnt heal, a constant reminder that there was something beyond this, that had given him those wounds. those fucking aliens. it was a gift, maybe, something to hold onto when there was nothing left to claw at. a shitty gift, adrian thought. 

the frustration returned. he grasped onto the emotion. who could be this cruel? had he fucked up that bad? his head hurt trying to remember what the man had said before he left. all witnesses, and loose ends. this was all bigger than him. bigger than the military, bigger than earth. this wasn't earth. what the fuck had he been caught up in? far worse alternatives, the man said. but this? this was a fate worse than death. no passage of time, no guarantee he was still alive. he wasnt religious, not after what he'd seen out in the field (if there was a god that let that happen, they were all doomed), but he assumed this was what purgatory had to be. not heaven, not hell. that was all bullshit desperate people made up because they were afraid. an endless kingdom with their savior, a light at the end of the tunnel of their shitty lives, and a burning torture chamber for their worst enemies and the people who hurt them. he envied the damned, now. everytime he managed a coherent sentence, he yelled into the void, begged the demons to retrieve him. take him to something, anything. his pleas were ignored.

the next second, something changed. a sound, an echo. it snapped adrian out of his mumbling, dazed state. he looked around, eyes wide, face confused. he'd taken off his gas mask sometime ago. it sat on the invisible floor next to him. he was curled up, he realized. a scared, wounded animal, deprived of his senses. a dog howling at the light after years of being shut in a crate. god, he missed dogs.

scrambling to his feet, the marine wiped his cold, sweaty face and took a defensive stance. that motherfucker might be back, to finally let him out. and if he didn't, he'd force him somehow, pin him to the floor and make him do something. he felt full of adrenaline, rabid and feral. he would get out of here. he had to. he had to he had to he had to.

adrian couldnt even recall what got him stirred up just a moment ago (a moment? maybe.) but it was different. there was a new presence. somewhere in the darkness. he reached his hands out, taking a step, trying to touch it.

a clatter behind him made him jump. behind him? in front of him. to the left, to the right. didn't matter, he was facing the thing now.

an orange bundle, human shaped, shaking. on it's hands and knees. a person, the man, maybe. adrian didn't fucking care what it was. it might let him out. he tackled it, grabbing it by the hair and doing his best to shove it to the floor. used a knee to kick the thing in the gut. he cursed as his knee clanged against metal. adrian wished he had his weapons, but he was still strong. his wounds didnt heal, so it made sense that his body wouldnt get weak from no practice. there was comfort in that. he felt exhilarated, alive for the first time in what felt like eons.

a CLANK rattled as the figure was pushed onto it's back. the corporal had it pinned down, straddling on top of it with one hand holding down it's arm. the metal it was wearing was cold, even against his gloved palm.where was the fucking man? had he changed, or sent someone else? it was possible. he wasnt human, adrian had decided, he couldnt be after sending him here. he remembered how he spoke, too. awkward and unsettling, like his vocal chords were a new instrument he was just trying out. a violin made out of flesh and blood. 

adrian moved the hand in the person's hair to it's throat, slamming them down. he heard a choke. the sound was new, loud in the incredibly silent space. human.

human. human. human. jesus christ, this wasnt the man. he threw himself off, scrambling back. something in him ached, horrified at his own mindless actions. the figure sat up on the floor, coughing and holding their neck. adrian stared, frozen. what if he had killed them? something new, something new finally, and he'd immediatly attacked, like a feral dog. confused and scared and violent. he tried his best to clear his mind of the voids static, and when he felt conscious enough he found the other person staring at him.

they looked just as disgusted and terrified as shephard felt. they were propped on their elbows. the two sat there for a moment, just staring at eachother. adrian recognized him, just a little. it made him quietly panic. finally, the other did something.

hand movements. american sign language. a question. he did his best to pay attention and begged his tired, out of touch mind to translate.

[where are we? who are you?]

adrian spoke back. "i don't know." his own voice was unfamiliar. coherent words, a response, were something he hadnt used since he'd gotten here. unconscious mumbling, fucked up numeric sequences, and mindless screaming pleas into the void barely counted. 

the person repeated. [who are you?]

it took him a moment to come up with an answer. "shephard. hazardous enviroment combat unit. who are you? did he send you here?" he emphasized the he with all the spite he felt.

the person, who adrian realized was a man, tensed, like he'd gotten confirmation for something horrible. the corporal looked him over, trying to figure out why he looked familiar. and then he got it. shit.

"you're a scientist. from black mesa. fuck, fuck. of course he sent someone like you."

he was wearing one of those protective orange enviroment suits, which adrian realized looked extremely loud in the blank space. damnit, could this be the infamous gordon freeman? adrian's hands balled into fists. if he was, this shithead had killed some good people, or so he'd heard. everyone had been talking about him, when shephard had been making his way out. had taken out a bunch of good men on his own. wore the ugliest orange suit they had ever seen, complete with a unique goatee and hair of awkward length pulled into a tiny, tiny rat tail. wouldve been funny if he hadnt killed so many goddamn people. adrian wished he hadnt stopped attacking him. well, better late than never. 

he dived for him again, but he never made contact. wait, what?

time stopped. he was frozen in the air. the scientists eyes were stuck wide open with fear. and then they were both falling.

it was silent, like they would never hit the ground. floating, almost. his mind was floating too. shephard couldnt will himself to scream. there was no need. he felt calmer, all of a sudden. no longer angry enough to attack the older man. something in his head willed him to play nice, and he obeyed. no questions asked. it wasnt right, but it felt... okay. he didnt have to be mad. nothing mattered here. nothing mattered here and it was fine.

they stopped floating. they were both sitting across from eachother again, in the same position they had been a second ago. had time rewinded? wasnt important. they both had calm faces and calm minds. adrian felt almost goofy. why was he being such a dick? maybe this wasn't terrible. a new person, a new thing. only good could come of it. he ignored the sick feeling in his stomach.

his eyes drifted from freeman to again, something new. the man mustve been feeling generous. it was a pile of colorful boxes, with recognizable pictures and titles. board games. adrian squinted. there was a note laid on the pile, written in arial font (but still hand written, somehow?)

"to pass the time," shephard read aloud, sarcastically. he made a 'huh' sound, looking over at freeman. the man had a plain, almost goofy expression. he shrugged, no more fear in his eyes. like he'd forgotten about being attacked. maybe he had. the corporal could barely remember it himself. he was more focused on the games, now, excited with the prospect of an actual activity.

[you any good at chutes and ladders?]

**Author's Note:**

> gman: sorry 4 messing up ur sense of time and space here's a little science man, a pacification field and some board games :)
> 
> half life hyperfixation things!!!! girl help there is no enrichment in my enclosure. originally wrote this at 4am but i made edits ^__^


End file.
